This Class Sucks.

Back to the Start

2011-12-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

I love this ad made by Chipotle. Anytime I see a message like this, my first reaction is to sort of cringe at the 'hippy' nature of it, but I've been increasingly bothered by the high level of process in American food. The conclusion is actually one of the reasons I love catering BBQ. I can choose to serve higher quality meat than most people consume (unless they are intentional about it). I smoked ham as one of the meats for my last event, and one store was selling a ham that said '23% of weight from additives'. What the heck. If I had $9, I'd probably eat at Chipotle for lunch today.

Making of:

"Gang Fight" -- Rebecca Black, as interpreted by a bad lip reader

2011-10-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

Guitar Lesson - Speed Kills - No Boundaries

2011-09-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Minecraft Parody x2

2011-09-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

LEGO GUNS

2011-06-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

My new workout routine

2011-05-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

Mr. Stache

2011-04-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

Coffee in Afghanistan

2011-04-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

NSFW language, but made me laugh.

Juggalo Furries

2011-04-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

In Hell, there are Juggalo Furries.

The BBQ Song

2011-02-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

I don't know how I haven't seen this song until now, but its news to me. Its a humorously accurate description of the differences in BBQ between regions. Makes me hungry too.

68% Fresh baby!

2011-02-18T23:12:00.000-08:00

WORST Facebook Profile Pics EVER!

2011-02-16T20:01:00.000-08:00

BOOM

2011-01-21T20:55:00.001-08:00

Bagger 288!

2010-12-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

Not to take away from the glory of "Fast Five", but this video cannot go un-posted!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-14T15:55:00.000-08:00

"You in mah wurld nah..."

- Dominic Toretto (Vin "Muther'effin"' Diesel)

Freelance Whales: "Generator 1st Floor" (Tiny SXSW Concert)

2010-12-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

I just...I mean...I don't even know what to say. All I can think in my head as the video plays is yelling 'get a job!' One of the the highly rated comments helps me organize my thoughts a bit: 'hipster overdose!!!'

baby monkey rides mini pig

2010-11-18T11:24:00.000-08:00

No, really.

The Protector

2010-11-09T10:44:00.000-08:00

To my surprise this morning I saw that Jairus the Vairus made it to AFP.com!!!

**ROHROHROOOOOOOHH ROOOOOH ROOOOOOOOHHHH**

Check the link below!

The Protector

Dot

2010-10-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Makes me want to animate more than ever.

and the making of:

Goldmine tonight

2010-10-20T22:38:00.000-07:00

and

Navy bombs Guam with poisoned flying mice

2010-10-01T15:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/10/01/navy-bombs-guam-dead-mice/

No joke. In order to fight the crazy looking snakes that invaded 30 years ago, they're dropping drugged frozen mice with cardboard wings and streamers out of naval planes.

I'd pay to see that.

The grind of life

2010-09-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

Something about this video has captured my thoughts over the last week or so. Even though it is in french (and I don't speak french), it communicated more to me than any music video I've seen. It seems like all the elements in the piece echo the repetition we experience in life. Thought I'd post it even though it isn't a 'pwn Ryan' type video (thought it still might).

Stromae - Alors on danse (clip officiel)

Also, I edited the blog template because I was sick of videos getting clipped on the right edge. Don't hate.

fatty

Dear Ryan,

2010-08-23T22:10:00.000-07:00

Love,
Matt

!!!!! NEW BANGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry Matt to post this whilst letting your current posts not simmer. But it's BANGS! And I think you will understand.

Crazy Double Rainbow Guy (FUNNY PARODY)

2010-08-02T14:33:00.000-07:00

Jesus Is My Friend (DONK REMIX)

2010-08-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

How to use a Forklift

2010-07-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

Rainborgaasm.

2010-07-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

This second one is the auto-tune version, along with the ICP surprise at 1:05

Put a Donk On It

2010-06-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

Hero of the Day: Nigel Ficke

2010-06-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

I'll see your Die Antwoord, and raise you an ICP...

2010-04-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Ian, for you. ICP's latest video.

Be sure to listen carefully to the lyrics. In this song, the lyrics are everything. (Warning: retarded swears)

Also try out this SNL skit.

And then this Break.com sketch.

The Juggalo News Network - Watch more Funny Videos

Finally, I challenge you to watch all 42 seconds of this all-girl juggalette mosh pit without tasting bile. (Warning: serious hotties)

All-Girl Juggalo Mosh Pit - Watch more Funny Videos

Your day just got ruined, sucka.

Flavor of the Week - Die Antwoord

2010-02-05T13:07:00.000-08:00

Ryan, we want to "Take U To Da Movies"...

2009-11-19T16:19:00.000-08:00

Bangs 8

Ryan

2009-09-08T11:45:00.000-07:00

You need to buy an iPhone.

Right now.

Ryan, when are you throwing your party?

2009-09-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

...and am I invited?

Throw a party and get Windows 7 free!

http://www.engadget.com/2009/09/02/get-windows-7-ultimate-for-free-by-throwing-a-party/

http://houseparty.com/windows7

Crabcore tips

2009-08-10T23:06:00.001-07:00

For those interested in learning the finer points of the crabcore stance:

Roooorrrrrrrr rooorr roooooooorrr orrorror rororor

2009-07-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th

2009-07-04T15:29:00.001-07:00

Enjoy my favorite rendition of the national anthem.

No Em Jay Posts

2009-07-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

I'm very proud of this blog and my own for not contributing to the billions of "Em Jay is dead!" posts that are still circulating the internet. I'm honestly surprised that it's become that big of a deal. I know he was huge in the 80s, but he hasn't even been in the news for years now. Is his death really overshadowing Iran? Gay.

Not Enough

2009-06-23T14:45:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest...there just aren't enough hardcore bands that use vocoders and break into a techno chorus.

If you watch 40 seconds or so and feel like giving up, skip forward to 2:45. You'll be glad you did.

For Ian: Steven Seagal visits Dalai Lama

2009-05-14T14:40:00.001-07:00

This is my favorite Steven Seagal video.

Terminator Saves Jesus

2009-05-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

I forgot about this video, but it was a favorite of mine back before YouTube was around.

Non-Ryan Pwnage

2009-03-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

I must perpetuate this video because it is simply awesome.

...

2009-02-06T16:29:00.000-08:00

Stanky Leg - GS BOYZ

A little education for all of us

2009-01-14T15:12:00.000-08:00

Featuring Ryan's favorite sound EFFEXXZZORS!!!

[via Gizmodo]

Wonder Boner

2009-01-02T21:28:00.000-08:00

Japanese penis sooo....

2008-12-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

http://en.sido-collection.com/online.html

Tom Green was right.

2008-12-12T11:05:00.001-08:00

I didn't take his advice, and I got cancer.

Please check the new tune of the day...

2008-12-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto_tune

http://www.t-pain.net/

RAAAA!!!

2008-11-18T13:11:00.000-08:00

Messin' with Sasquatch

2008-10-28T23:50:00.000-07:00

I'm NOT a PC...

2008-10-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

...but I am definitely part iPhone and here's why -

Twinkies

2008-10-01T11:14:00.001-07:00

o><

2008-08-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

aseriesoftubes at 05:11 PM on 08/27/08 says

"Listening to Christian rock does not prove how devoted you are, it just shows that you have horrible taste in music."

Amen.

The whole article on Gizmodo.

Tips for a political season

2008-07-30T10:42:00.001-07:00

Today Now!: How To Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election

Jedi Gym

2008-07-28T14:35:00.001-07:00

What a Spud

2008-07-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

"Eight equal equal Dee" at Shaper Image?!

2008-06-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

This class sucks less than I remember

2008-06-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

Where the hell is Matt?! (click!)

I'm a big kid now...

2008-06-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

SFIV

2008-06-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

To all of us who begged our dads to pull the change out his pockets just to play SFII.

Dear Ryan,

2008-05-22T15:04:00.000-07:00

MacGayver

2008-05-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

Ashamed x2

2008-05-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

Aww..the poor puppy is starving!

2008-04-29T17:40:00.000-07:00

/agree

2008-03-27T15:00:00.001-07:00

Sample iTunes review

2008-03-03T15:00:00.000-08:00

I have had a hard week, and am basically angry at everything. So, in today's post, I will bash on iTunes Customer review and the mighty mouse.

First, the Might Mouse. I hate you. With a passion. I want your cord to be longer so I can generate more momentum while swinging you around to then bash you into a brick wall that is on fire. The scroll ball doesn't work after a few months, and is impossible to clean. In order to attempt to "clean" it, you push very hard on the ball back and forth hoping to magically dislodge the piece of dirt/dust that is stuck. Very technical. I'm glad the engineers thought through there design enough to ask the question "so...what if the scroll ball stops working?" BAH!

Now, on to iTunes. Let me preface this by saying I buy my music almost exclusively through iTunes. I love the service, and I think its great. I wish I could buy international music easier, but I'll get over it. The customer reviews however...maybe not. Here is my personal summary of every iTunes review ever. First, a good review.

**clears throat**

SO I DONT KNOW IF YOU HAVE HERD OF THIS BAND ALREADY BUT IF YOU HAVENT JUST LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW AND YOU WILL LIKE IT AND BE GLAD YOU HERD THIS SONG BECAUSE IT IS REALLY GOOD AND IT KINDA SOUNDS LIKE [insert band name] BUT IS REALLY BETTER AND DIFFERENT AND THEY REALLY EARNED ALL THE STUFF THAT THEY GET BECAUSE THEY WORKED SO HARD AND I HERD ABOUT THEM LIKE A LONG TIME AGO AND THEIR MUSIC IS REALLY UNIQUE AND STUFF EVEN THOUGH THEY KINDA SOUND LIKE A BUNCH OF OTHER BANDS BUT BETTER.

And now, for a complaint about the free single of the week.

Oh my gosh. Apple does it again. I can't believe they are so horrible and terrible to give out this music for free. They should pay us to listen to it. It is so bad that not only does it not deserve to take up the space on your 120gb ipod, but it will even eat other songs with its badness. I hate this style of music with a passion, but this song is so bad. You should listen to my opinion because I don't understand the nuances of this style of music and take every opportunity to bash it. Click yes if you agree with my mindless rant.

Can I just take a minute to request something from you iTunes customers? Please don't complain about free music just because it isn't your style of music. I don't prefer rap music, therefore, if I download a free song of the week that is rap, I don't complain about it. It isn't my area of expertise. If a song is released in a genre that I feel informed about, I will give my opinion. But to simply explode with uniformed gibberish makes us all dumber than before. Stop making the world dumber...please.

Also, if you are planning to compare a band to another one, and then call the original band unique, please stop typing. When one thing is easy to compare to another thing, it has lost its ability to be unique. Also, caps locks is not necessary, and punctuation is very important. Finally, you have not herd music, you have heard it. Herding is animals...not music. If you didn't know that, please stop posting.

This class...

2008-02-13T14:57:00.000-08:00

...is the suckiest suck that ever sucked from Sucksville with suck on the side.

Here's a painting of Wild Bill Hickok by N.C. Wyeth.

Am I on Drugs?

2007-12-21T13:24:00.000-08:00

This is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. I...I just don't get it.

Changing tide?

2007-11-21T15:11:00.000-08:00

Could this steal from Ron Paul's votes?

Technoviking > All

2007-10-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

I post this for Ian. I can't dare take credit for something that was so clearly found by him.

It smells like burning

2007-10-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

Irvine, California
October 21, 2007

Sandstorm

2007-10-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

There were sandstorms up here yesterday, and I think thats cool. Here are some photos from a rainy day, and the sandstormy day.

Looking towards Big Bear.

The pass called "the narrows" to get from the I-15 to our place.

View of the Mojave River.

Overall, it was a really interesting experience. The winds were whipping clouds of dust up seemingly out of nowhere, the gusts would cause you to swerve a bit as you were driving, and it looked like dust was dancing across the streets. Petty cool stuff. Sadly, it is quite dangerous too.

God Hates Hugs

2007-10-10T09:18:00.001-07:00

Network issues

2007-10-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

I realized something about the network her at work today. We have 1 full time tech guy, and the network hasn't gone down once. At my previous job, we had 5 full time tech guys, and the network went down regularly. I can't help but think that PC networks (with PC workstations) require more people to be less stable with more downtime.

One of the common arguments I hear about PCs is that they are cheaper than Macs. Lets assume a PC is $200 cheaper than a Mac. Now, some will argue that a $999 PC isn't really equal to a 1199 iMac, but that's not something we'll deal with. Lets just say $200.

We'll assume each network has 25 computers, and 25 users making $15/hour and that the tech team makes $20/hour per full time employee. For the PC network we will assume 4 hours of downtime per month which, from my experience, is pretty accurate.

5 Full time tech support = - $208,000 per year
PCs at $200 less than Mac = + $5,000 one time cost
25 user downtime for 2 hours = - $18,000.00 per year

One year of operation, assuming no replacement parts on the computers would cost:
($208,000) + ($18,000) - 5000 = $221,000

Now, for the Mac.
1 Full time tech support = $41,600
Cost saving = $0.00
25 user downtime for 0 hours = $0.00

So, the cost of 1 year of operation is $41,600.

So it looks like a PC network costs you $ 179,400 when you add in the cost of employees and downtime impacting the rest of the staff. But hey...at least you saved $200 on all those nice new machines.

Outside Opinion

2007-10-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

So I saw this logo on the way into work this morning, and was really caught off guard. While some logos are so abstract there is no way to associated them with the company they represent, others are designed to be an icon of the trade. So the meat company that yields this logo wanted a design that was in the shape of a cows skull I presume. Instead, it looks like they sell jock straps more than anything. I guess it shows the value inherent in asking other people's opinion of the work you create.

Location, Location, Location

2007-09-25T21:28:00.001-07:00

This would not be good location...assuming of course this isn't the actual name of the dentist office.

Cool Weather

2007-09-20T12:46:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning, and the sky looked really cool. I had just enough time to grab my camera and shoot a few shots without being too late to work.

This is looking South-East from our guest room balcony.

This is looking due south. I love how the clouds separated enough to really highlight the vegetation surrounding the Mohave River. As you can tell, that is really the only green stretch out here. Makes for some very interesting contrasts though.

Ahh...the desert

2007-09-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

Some coworkers and I were wandering the desert today after work to find the "right" Joshua Tree for a project I am working on, and we stumbled across something interesting.

That would be a live round, just chillin' off the road. We found another one in the same location. Crazy stuff out here. We saw some stink bugs too, but they weren't nearly as interesting. I did get some great rocks for an upcoming photo series I am working on.

I love bugs...

2007-09-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

Therefore... I love the desert.

We found this little guy scurrying through our place tonight. Very cool looking!

Looks like here he wanted to model for me a bit. He was ready for his close up... to him. It got a little uncomfortable when we locked eyes for a moment, but he realized he was stuck in a cup... so there wasn't much he could do. That and the fact that I could smash him a toenail clipping. Once our "shoot" was finished, I let him roam the burning wasteland that is the High Desert on his own.

PoMoness

2007-08-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

There really is no better place for this post than our blog. At least that is what my truth says.

How to get rich.

2007-08-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today I parked my $2,000 1998 Saturn next to a one million dollar 2007 Ferrari -- AT CHURCH.
Seriously people -- how does anyone make enough money to buy a new Ferrari? I can barely afford groceries.

Money and power. Curious things.

PG

2007-08-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

Looks like we are rated PG. Not sure if that is good or bad. I'm sure this might tempt some of you to ramp up the questionable behavior to see how much we can change the grade.

Gloiven

2007-07-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

iShame

2007-06-28T15:54:00.001-07:00

I don't know what happened to me, but I have completely bought into the iPhone. I just finished updating all my contacts in Address Book, will use iCal from this day forward, switch from Firefox to Safari, and have watched all the tours on the apple website. Last week I said "I want to wait until version 2 comes out so all the bugs will be fixed". Today I say "forget that! I WANT IT NOW". Curse you Steve Jobs!!

Victorveng

2007-06-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

Well, its official... we are moving to Victorville. I just got offered a job at a church out there (high desert church), and I start July 1. Should be good times. They seem to have a very sound grasp on theology, and live in a way that exhibits their faith. Should be good learnings... to me.

Who's your neighbor?

2007-05-31T05:08:00.000-07:00

Click here to find out who you don't want to bake cookies for...

Don't make me...

2007-05-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

start breakdancing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOfAPHJTagY

Adverse Possession

2007-05-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

I'm about to take title to this blog through adverse possession. Let it be known that the takeover is hostile, open and notorious, adverse and under a claim of right, and continuous, starting now.

Crack this code

2007-05-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

Here's a brain teaser: what does this sentence have to do with mathematics:

"How I need a drink, alcoholic of course, after the nasty hangover involving painful throbbing."

Bar Haze

2007-05-16T10:25:00.000-07:00

Three days I shall dine in hell,
Testing twenty four hours is gonna smell.

Must wait five months to know if passed,
A fifty percent chance is truly nast.

If I fail, I cannot work,
Instead, until February I will lurk.

A Juris Doctorate is worthless until,
I pass that damn Bar, what a thrill.

The Mystery of Dreams

2007-05-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Any comments on this post are welcome. I wanted to share a little bit about my thoughts on dreams, and a recent bizarre example of what the brain can do when it starts defragmenting the unconscious mind.

About a week ago I was "stuck" for hours in a dream about numbers. Not just any numbers -- prime numbers. My mind was calculating primes, searching for the highest prime it could calculate. I was trying to determine the primality of numbers up in the thousands. In my waking moments, I might think to myself, "oh, those weren't real prime numbers...it was just my imagination making up what it thought was prime numbers..."

However, upon waking from my dreams I sometimes have a remnant memory left on the forefront of my consciousness - this time is was a table full of prime numbers. I rolled over in bed and said to my wife, "what does 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19..." have in common? She looked at me like I was crazy -- I said "they're all prime, and they were all just in my brain upon waking from calculating non-stop for the highest prime I could find." She looked at me like I was crazy -- and I felt crazy.

I regularly see a psychoanalyst for reasons apart from my crazy dreams. Psychoanalysts are trained not only with a Doctorate in psychology, but they receive even more extensive training in working with people's unconscious mind. An analyst will welcome any remembered dreams during a session. One thing that the analyst will do will ask "what comes to mind when you think about X (detail of dream)?"

My answer to this one was, "Well... prime numbers are strong. They are independent, and indivisible. They can't be broken up by any multipliers other than one and itself." Again, the therapist asks a follow-up question, using free-association -- "and what comes to mind when you think of that?" My first thought - unconditional love. Unconditional love cannot be broken, divided, or comprimised by anything. It is strong. It is unbreakable. Kind of like a prime.

Maybe that's why my unconscious mind was searching for the highest prime number.

Slain and Pwned

2007-05-09T06:55:00.001-07:00

Guten Tag!

2007-05-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

My name is BP and I'm here to say,
My friends are on this blog in a major way.

I'll try to keep it clean, sorta BUBBS-style,
Otherwise this place will surely be defile-d.

Justin is cringing as I pop this rhyme,
He be like 'whuddup!', face puckered like a lime.

Thank you b! Ian for letting me be a guest here,
I try not to abuse it and say anything too queer.

Aufwiedersehen!!!

Guest Nerd

2007-05-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Just as a heads up, we have a guest blogger. For legal reasons, I will identify him as "BP". But if and when he wishes to accept our invite, he may identify himself as whoever he wants.

A little superficial background about BP - it will remain vague for legal reasons. He is a man of passion and smarts. Topics ranging from circumcision, Christianity, guns, intellectual property, and CrotchRockets... not to mention, he can sue me up the yin-yang.

...and he has a nice dag named Teddy...

we await your response BP!

b

For Ian

2007-05-02T11:45:00.001-07:00

Ian's Birthday and the Zoo

2007-04-16T12:42:00.000-07:00

I'd love to post something worthwhile about friendship and good times, but my memory keeps going back to the Tapir's colossal "tail."

How about those capybaras, huh? Those were cool!

So.

2007-04-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

An underwear-shooting cannon, huh?

Heyo

2007-03-26T12:08:00.001-07:00

Urban Christians

2007-03-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

This very interesting article was passed along to me by a respected friend of mine at Grace Brethren Church. The article makes some very interesting points about the way contemporary Christians interact (or don't) with the secular culture. One quote that I enjoyed:

So we must neither just denounce the culture nor adopt it. We must sacrificially serve the common good, expecting to be constantly misunderstood and sometimes attacked. We must walk in the steps of the one who laid down his life for his opponents. (-Tim Keller)

I am also going to pick up Two Cities, Two Loves: Christian Responsibility in a Crumbling Culture by Dr. James Montgomery Boise, from which the idea that major cities have the greatest influence on shaping society stems. If that is the case, perhaps a move into the city is in order!